Two Years.

This month marks two years. Two years since Matt and I began trying to get pregnant. Two years of visits of gynecologists and fertility doctors and specialists. Two years of tests and procedures and pain and tears and new diagnoses and new medications. Two years of too many negative pregnancy tests to keep track of. Two difficult, heart-wrenching, excruciating years.

It's been two years, but it feels a bit more like a lifetime.

Friends, I was so naive at the beginning of this process. We "officially" started trying to get pregnant in July of 2014 because I figured we'd get pregnant right away, and I had done the math... Nine months from July is April, and I thought April would be a really nice month to have a baby. I shit you not, that was the actual thought process that my brain went though. I knew so little of the whole ovulation process and what goes into two people conceiving a child. I took for granted that I would be able to just snap my fingers and get pregnant whenever I wanted to. If teenagers can "accidentally" get pregnant after a night of unprotected sex, it wouldn't be hard for two people who are in love and have been together for over ten years to get pregnant, right? Wrong.

It's been hard. Really hard. It's been a silent struggle that we've been dealing with for two years, only sharing with the closest of friends and family. I feel so helpless, so vulnerable. There has been a lot of tears and sadness, and a lot of anger. Excessive weight gain and a neglect of my heath in a time where I should be doing my best to improve my health. It's been a hard season of life.

I've been diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, aka PCOS. I had never heard of PCOS until we had our first visit with the fertility doctor. I won't bore you with all the details, but basically, my ovaries are filled with small cysts. This throws off the hormone levels in my body, and my eggs don't have the opportunity to fully mature. Essentially, I just don't ovulate, which obviously makes it very difficult for me to get pregnant. The list of symptoms for PCOS is basically a checklist of things I've struggled with for years, so it was almost nice to get the diagnosis and finally have an explanation for all of those issues. After going through some additional testing to make sure nothing else was impeding my ability to get pregnant, I began medication to help me ovulate. The hope was that this method alone would be enough to allow me to get pregnant, but so far, no luck.

Recently, a couple that we're very close with announced at a big gathering that they were pregnant. Matt and I accidentally missed the official announcement, so they pulled us aside to tell us in private since they knew what we have been going though. I tried my best to look excited and congratulate them, but then I immediately went to the bathroom, locked myself in, and spent the next 40 minutes sobbing. I was happy for them, but so, so sad for us. Not exactly my proudest moment.

I know that Matt and I will eventually be parents. Aside from a brief period of time a few years ago when I was feeling selfish and thought maybe I'd rather not have children, instead spending my time and money traveling the world, I've always wanted to be a mother. And if you have ever met my husband, then you know he's going to be the most incredible dad ever. Seriously. I know that without a doubt, and I can't wait to raise kids with him. I want nothing more than to experience pregnancy, and to experience it naturally, but I am frustrated by how difficult this process has been for us. I'm not a big fan of things that aren't "natural", and I already hate that I have to take medication to help me attempt to get pregnant. Our next steps beyond this would be IUI (intrauterine insemination) or IVF (in vitro fertilization), both of which can get a bit costly and aren't really ideal in my book. Combining sperm and an egg in a petri dish in the hopes that they fertilize? Not exactly my idea of a romantic conception. Beyond those options, we would begin to explore adoption.

This has been a tough thing to go through not only because of the obvious reason (aka the whole not being able to have a child thing), but also because infertility is just something that's not really talked about. Unless you're a woman trying to get pregnant and you happen to have a friend that has also gone through this same thing, you feel like you don't really have anyone to talk to about it. You feel alone. There's almost a negative stigma attached to the issue of infertility, and it's just not a common topic of discussion. I am asked all. the. time. whether I have children and/or when Matt and I are planning to have kids. Can you image how people would react if I responded truthfully? If I said I don't know, I've been wondering the same thing myself? That we've been trying our hardest for two years and we're heartbroken that it hasn't happened yet? I guess my main reason for putting all of this out there is to just to open the discussion, say that I'm not ashamed of the "infertile" title that has been slapped on me, but also admit that I need help. That I, we, need your support during this time. Whether it's through prayer, happy thoughts, texts, phone calls, emails, or offers to join me during a fertility appointment to hold my hand when Matt's schedule doesn't allow him to join me (KB I love you always), we will take it. If you've been through this, reach out to me. If you have suggestions or tips or recommendations, send them my way. If you would pray for us, please do. It's been hard, and although I want to believe that this will all work out in the end, somedays it's hard for me to see beyond the negative pregnancy tests.

Thanks for being an open ear, friends. Much love to all.

Steph

Summer Mayhem

The last month and a half has been nuts. Two weeks of vacation in OCNJ, one week of counseling Senior High Adventure here at the Plateau, and working 50ish + hours on the weeks in between. One week of vacay, one week of work. One week of vacay, one week of work. One work of "vacay" (not entirely sure spending a week leading a group of senior highers and getting 3-5 hours of sleep a night while running around non-stop during the day is really considered a vacation, but...), and then back to work. Despite having three out of the last six weeks off of work, it's still been a crazy time and I feel like I haven't been able to get a single thing done. Combine that with the fact that we've had so many visitors over the past two weeks (23 members of my family were here for a weekend, part of Matt's family was here from Indiana this past week, camp friends have been coming and going and occasionally staying in our guest rooms, etc.), I am behind on everything. I never got my July birthday cards done. One of my closest friends had her third baby and I haven't even started the baby quilt. Things are shoved into nearly all of our closets from when I was quickly "cleaning" before our next set of guests arrived. But I wouldn't really trade this busy season for anything. Spending time in Ocean City, NJ with my family is my absolute favorite, and adding a second week with Matt's family for the first time this year was so much fun. This year of Senior High Adventure was one of the best to date; My co-counselor was fantastic, our campers were awesome, and the rest of the SHA "staff" (program director, assistant program director, nurse, and the other counselors) are some of my favorite people to spend a week in the woods with. And I love hosting people and would never pass up on the opportunity to have people visit or come stay at our house. So here's a brief photo recap of the last six weeks. We've packed a lot of fun into all this crazy.

Ocean City, NJ with the Kleins! Super windy and kind of chilly, but still a great week.

Left OCNJ and drove to OCMD to spend the weekend with my girls! Good times. 

BEYONCE CONCERT IN HERSHEY! Totally lost my mind and had the most amazing time. 

The next morning... Post-Beyonce Hangover.

Back to OCNJ with the McCanns! 27 of us. Best week of the year.

Favorite View. 

Running the boardwalk in OCNJ is my fav. Ran 7 miles one day. Considering another half marathon this fall.  

Pocono Plateau's Senior High Adventure 2016! Stony Cove!

2016 Site Olympics Champs!!! 

Some of our visitors the last couple of weeks! Loved having visits from the McCanns, the Andresens/Ryans, and the Franks!

I hope your summer has been just as crazy and just as fun!

xoxo,
Steph

Current Faves, Part Two

Back in March, I posted my first "current faves" post, highlighting a few of the things I was loving at the moment. I've always enjoyed hearing about products or services that people I know (or other bloggers I follow) are using and loving, so I figured I'd make a point on here to semi-regularly share about the things I'm currently obsessed with. So here we are with round two!

Recently I went on a major Amazon binge. There were a few movies and books that I wanted, as well as a few other things on my Amazon "Wish List" that I planned on purchasing... And then I just went a little crazy and ordered a few more items just because. No regrets, though; It was a great use of some of the money I received for my birthday. Here are a few of the things from that order that I absolutely love and feel like I need to share. 

1.) Capri Blue Volcano Candle

Guys, this candle is everything. It's incredible. The smell of it burning makes me want to be a better person. It's the candle they burn constantly in all Anthropologie stores... You know how that store always smells amazing? This is the reason why. I've looked at the candles there, but always thought they were a bit overpriced. When I saw this cute little travel tin version for less than $15, I knew I had to try it out. Now I feel like I'll never be able to burn another candle ever again. I already scoped out the larger version, which you can conveniently order in a two pack at a better price point. You better believe I'll be adding that to my cart next time I place an Amazon order!

2.) Dead Sea Mud Mask

I've always had a thing for facial masks. I remember sneaking into the cabinet in my parent's bathroom as a kid and stealing some of this gel-like citrus mask that my mom always had. You would smear it on, let it sit for 10 minutes, and then peel it off in one single sheet. It was awesome. It had been a while since I'd bought a mask, but I somehow ended up browsing them when I fell down the Amazon rabbit hole. This Dead Sea mask had almost 8,000 good reviews and was the #1 best seller of all facial masks, so I figured it had to be good. I tried it out tonight, and it definitely did not disappoint. It's a dark charcoal color, so you look totally attractive while you're wearing it, but it smells really nice and my skin felt incredible afterwards. After fifteen minutes, my face felt smooth and soft, and I swear the my pores looked smaller. I did read several reviews where people said their pores shrunk after just one use, so I guess I wasn't totally imaging it. Anyway, if you're into facial masks and are looking to try out one that's really good, I'd definitely recommend this one. 

3.) IngenuiTea Bottom-Dispensing Teapot

Back around Christmas, Matt and I met up with a bunch of friends at a coffee shop down in Lancaster, and my tea was served in this contraption. I had no idea how it worked, but once I figured out that you had to place it on top of your cup and then the tea comes out the bottom, I did that. Then I realized the tea had barely steeped at all, so I had to do it all over again. Then I was hooked. It's seriously a fun way to make tea, and I love that you don't have to shove loose tea into a little tea strainer thing. You just dump it in, let it steep, then put it on top of your mug which triggers the tea to come out of the bottom into your cup. Matt got it for me for my birthday, and I've used it countless times over the last couple of weeks. It doesn't get old. If you like tea and want to venture more into the world of loose tea instead of regular tea bags, it's a really fun gadget to add to your stash. 

4.) Popsicle Molds

Ready for a total wildcard? Yep, I bought molds to make popsicles. I'm not really sure why, but I did. (Amazon can be a dangerous place.) I love popsicles, and I've seen a few recipes on Pinterest for making your own, so I figured I'd go for it. During the warmer months I'm usually pretty obsessed with those Outshine Fruit Bars and Yogurt Bars that you can find in most grocery stores. While this brand is pretty harmless and generally uses wholesome, natural ingredients, I figured it's still better to make your own from scratch. While I haven't yet tried out these molds yet, I'm so excited to do so. Here are a few of the recipes I'm most anxious to try: Strawberry Pineapple Popsicles, Peach Yogurt Popsicles, and Raspberry-Pineapple Chia Seeds Popsicles. Yum!

5.) Basically Everything from Pure Suds Co., but especially this Shea Butter Whip Lotion

This last one is not Amazon-related, but I feel like I have to share. If you're friends with me on Facebook, you may have already seen my picture and long rant about my love for this small business. This past Christmas, one of my bosses at one of the nursing homes I work at bought everyone in the therapy department a small container of whipped shea butter lotion and an exfoliating bar of soap with a loofah built right into it from this company. From the moment I tried both of those products, I was in love. I rationed the whipped shea butter for months and months, and finally had to go to the store to buy some more. While there, I went a little crazy and basically bought one of everything they had. The store owner, Jess, was awesome and took a ton of time to tell me about all of the products and how she makes everything. I've never in my life been someone who likes to take baths, but I bought a bunch of bath products (bath bombs, bath "tea", etc.), and am now totally inspired to take baths. Using these organic products basically make me feel like a brand new woman. The Organic Mandarin-Blood Orange Shea Butter Whip pictured above smells like pure heaven, and is possibly the best hand lotion I have ever used. I love supporting small business and the business owners who work so hard at what they do, so if you're ever in the Scranton area, you should definitely check them out. If not, you can order right from their website. I promise you won't be disappointed!

So anyway, that's some of the stuff that I'm currently obsessed with. I'd love to hear from you guys what you're currently loving!

Steph

Snail Mail

I'm a huge proponent of snail mail. I mean, who doesn't love being greeted with a handwritten card tucked in among the standard junk mail and bills that usually fill our mailboxes? In this day and age of digital everything, I think there is something so special about this simple act of letter writing. I absolutely love sending mail. I'm a total stationary snob, and I probably spend more money on cards and stationary and stamps in one year than I do on shoes. 1Canoe2, Rifle Paper Co., and Emily McDowell are three of my all time favorite companies for everything paper-related and beyond (including but not limited to cards, planners, notepads, phone cases, meal planners, recipe boxes/cards, etc.), and 1Canoe2's annual 50% off sale (which occurs for one hour only on Black Friday) is right up there with Christmas as my favorite holiday.

But anyway, cards. I love them. I always have. I love receiving them, and I love sending them. For a long time, I saved every single birthday card I ever received. Really... every. single. one. I finally went through and purged a large number of them, but still save any card I deem even remotely sentimental.

A few years back I decided I wanted to send out birthday cards to all of our close friends and family members. I set out to gather all the necessary birthdates, and made myself a little spreadsheet (nerd). A few days before a new month begins, I check out all of the birthdays coming up in the following month, and I spend time picking out a card for each person from my stash. I then fill them out, address and stamp them, and write the birthdate on the back of the envelope so I know when to stick each card in the mail. This simple act, which usually takes me maybe 30 to 45 minutes each month, has become one of my favorite rituals. Once I send them out, it really doesn't matter to me if the person thanks me for the card or never says a word about it... I just like the gesture of letting our loved ones know that we were thinking of them and remembering them on their birthday.

In addition to my monthly birthday card routine, I try to send out a few cards each month to people just to say "hi". I found these notecard sets in the dollar bins at Target recently... how am I supposed to say no to cute little sets of eight notecards for $1 each?!

So anyway, my challenge for you this month would be to write three letters to three different people. They don't have to be long - just buy a card or a postcard or even stick a piece of scrap paper into an envelope and send it. Reach out to a friend you haven't seen in a while, a grandparent, or whoever. I guarantee it will bring a smile to their face.

Happy writing!
Steph

Vintage Camper Dreamin'

You guys, I have a new obsession. An obsession with tiny, adorable, totally refurbished vintage campers. I mean, how cute are these little guys??

I've been really into the whole "tiny house movement" lately. And by that, I mean I DVR every tiny house show HGTV produces, and I'm totally glued to the television every time I watch one. While I know my husband and I will never live in a tiny house full time (this scenario could only end in Matt and I killing one other due to lack of personal space, and/or me freaking out because I'd have to get rid of my obscene amount of Christmas decorations, and/or me in tears because we could no longer host dinner parties or have people stay at our house for weekend visits), I still love the concept. I try to live a fairly simple life without a lot of "stuff", and the sleek, simplified, and compact design of most tiny houses just about makes me giddy.

When you combine my fascination in tiny houses with my love for camping and my love of great design, it's not shock that I'm totally enamored with these mini campers. While I've always been adamant about the fact that I prefer tent camping, I'm starting to see the benefits of a little camper. (I am, however, still firmly against mega RVs. If you pull into the campground in a deluxe motorhome that has all the modern conveniences of home and costs almost as much as my first house, it that really camping? I think not.) I can totally envision Matt and I taking one of these beauties on weekend trips to local state parks, as well as on longer trips around the US.

So, until the day that I actually get my hands on one of these adorable vintage campers, I'm just going to continue gazing lovingly at these pictures, daydreaming about the day we're traveling around America in our own mini slice of paradise. 

Steph

[P.S. Sources for all of the campers above are pinned in my Camping board on Pinterest.]

Thoughts from an Almost 29 Year Old

I was up late working on a few rough drafts of other blog posts, when I looked up at the time and realized it was past midnight. It was officially May 1st. May is, without a doubt, my favorite month. Besides being my birth month, it's just such a glorious time of year. A month full of beauty, optimism, anticipation. It's spring! The trees and flowers are blooming! It's warm! The days are getting longer! School's almost out! Summer is right around the corner! The countdown to the beach begins. While I absolutely adore the cool, crisp, beautiful days of fall, there is just so much hope in these spring days.

This month, I'll turn 29. The last year of my 20s. Everyone (at least in my experience) responds to people's fears of turning the big 3-0 by stating that your 30s are the best decade, way better than your 20s. You're finally comfortable in your own skin. The rough transitions and decisions of your 20s - graduating college, searching for jobs and navigating your career field, finding love or having your heart broken, getting married or staying single, deciding to start a family or not - are to some extent, over. You're finally free to be the person you were meant to be without the pressures and stigmas of what your peers think, what your parents think, or what the world itself thinks. For the most part, you know who you are and who you're going to be. You figure out who your true friends are, and you (hopefully) make enough money to get your finances in order. At least that's they way I interpret it. While I'm totally hopeful that this sentiment will ring true for me (and know that some of it already does), it still makes me a little nervous. I mean, 30 years old? I just struggle with that number.

There is still so much I want to do. Goals I want to accomplish. Places I want to travel. Children I want to have. Life has thrown me some curve balls the last few years, and the major control freak that I am has struggled to adjust the "master plan" that I had planned out for my life. I'm not where I imagined myself to be at 29. I guess that's what I get for naively thinking I can just plan out every detail of my life and have everything fall perfectly into place. Silly me. But while I might sound like I'm being a little dramatic, I fully understand that 30 is not a death sentence. I know that I am not turning 100 and that there is no hope of me reaching my goals. I guess I just need to keep that in mind, and work harder to make my goals a reality. Make my next year of life my best year yet.

So May, give me all you've got. Don't let me down. And 29, bring it on. I'm ready for you.

S

New Venture

Last week, I started a new job. 

My college degree is in Occupational Therapy. Since graduating from college almost seven years ago, I've worked OT jobs exclusively. I mainly work in nursing homes, but have also worked in school districts. I've worked full time, part time, and/or PRN (also known as "as needed") over the years between too many nursing homes to count. I'm not good at saying no, so often I'm working full time or part time at one facility consistently, and then working some evenings or weekends at places where I'm employed PRN. The accountant who does our taxes gets mad every year at the shear number of W-2s I present her with from my gazillion employers. She jokes about it, but really I think that deep down she hates me. But anyway, as many of my OT, PT, SLP, and nursing friends can attest to, healthcare can be a really taxing field to work in. During the times that I was working 40+ hours, I found myself getting really burnt out. I was thrilled when we moved to our current home last summer (thus cutting our expenses drastically since housing is included as part of my husband's benefit package) and I was able to scale back my hours, work exclusively PRN jobs, and really control my schedule. I was able to take more time to do things I wanted to, but still work when I wanted and bring in a great paycheck. PRN is the best of all worlds for me.

While I generally enjoy my job - I legitimately love the elderly population, and the fact that I am able to rehabilitate them and make a positive influence in their lives is kind of like the cherry on top - I've realized over the years that it's truly not my passion. I make a great living, find a lot of value in what I do for people, and have built many meaningful relationships over the years with both co-workers and patients, but could never shake the feeling that I wanted to do something else. I have lots of dreams and goals for what the future might look like for me, and am grateful that my flexible OT schedule has begun to allow me to explore other options while still bringing in some cash working PRN.

The other week I went to our local library (more about my absolute love affair with libraries at a later date) and saw a job posting. The position was for "Technical Services Specialist", and while they were ideally looking for someone with a computer-related degree, I was convinced that I could fill all of the jobs roles listed. They were looking for someone who was proficient with computers, was a "people person" who would be able to tutor people on the use of computers and other devices (smart phones, Kindles, iPads, etc.), would be able to create newsletters and flyers and post on social media platforms, and could assist with children's programming at the library. Check, check, check, check. I interviewed up against seven or eight other people, and was kind of shocked when I was offered the job. The job is part time, 30 hours a week, and a drastic pay cut from what I can make in OT, but they were really flexible with creating a schedule that would allow me to continue to work my PRN OT jobs on the side, so I went for it!

The past week was insane, hence my lack of posting here on the blog. I started at the library on Monday, but had already had some OT jobs lined up, so I worked six days, logging over 50 working hours between five different places (the library and four different nursing homes), and spent hours driving between said facilities. We live in a pretty remote area, so I typically have to drive anywhere from forty minutes to an hour and fifteen minutes to more populated areas with more opportunities for OT jobs. I'm THRILLED to trade in this killer commute for the twelve minute commute to the library most days. 

Anyway, I'm grateful for a little bit of a different opportunity, and am excited about learning some new job skills. Thanks for following along, and please bare with me as I get used to my new schedule!

Here's to new adventures!

xoxo,

Steph

Quilting

So a few years ago I decided I wanted to learn how to quilt. No one in my family quilts, but Matt's grandmother makes beautiful ones for every family member, and I love how her quilts (and the quilts of her mother before her) can be passed down as family heirlooms for years to come. I had seen some incredible modern quilts floating around on Pinterest, and I set a goal to learn how to do it. My mom gave me a gift certificate to a local quilting shop in my hometown for Christmas is 2012, and in January of 2013 I started a class.

I can't even tell you how much I fell in love with it. The whole process - choosing beautiful fabrics, cutting the fabric, piecing the top, quilting the layers together, machine and hand binding the edges, embroidering personalized name tags for whoever I was giving it to, and finally passing it on to the recipient - totally captivates me.

Since then, I've worked hard to make baby quilts for most of our close friends and family members whenever they're welcoming a little one into the world. This is the one I'm currently working on. I won't post a full picture until I've given it to the parents to be, but I'm totally enamored with it and can't help myself from posting a sneak peek.

[ #Gingham #PopOfOrange #Swoon ]

Here are a few of my other favorites from the past:

One of the things I love most about quilting is the little community I've found. And contrary to popular belief, this community doesn't just consist of little 80 year old women. I'm amazed at the amount of young women (and men!) around my age who blog and Instagram their quilting projects. Here are a few quilts I've pinned on Pinterest that inspire me whenever I start a new quilt. I'm really into the neutrals and black & whites lately!

Doesn't it kind of amaze you what can be done with just a little fabric and a sewing machine?

Now my goal for 2016 is to actually complete a full or queen-sized quilt, since until this point I've only made baby quilts. I'm hoping that actually posting this here will hold me accountable, and hopefully I'll post back with the final result before 2017 rolls around :)

Thanks for reading!
Steph

Vulnerability

I've never been considered someone who was thin. I was by no means an overweight child, but I've definitely had wide hips and large thighs since puberty. As an adolescent, I was constantly comparing myself to my skinny friends, and would mentally beat myself up thinking I was "huge". I was always athletic, playing one sport or another year round and staying in good shape. But if I compared my actual weight or my jean size with my friends, I was always bigger... I'm not kidding about the muscular thighs and big hips thing. So I decided that I couldn't focus on a number on a scale. As long as I stayed active and ate my normal diet, I maintained a healthy weight for my body type and felt good about myself.

[Growing up: A girl with her yo-yo // Looking super cool on Christmas with my new coat, new rollerblades, and new Walkmen... maybe 3rd grade? // Boy band pose with my brother in 5th grade // Beach in summer after 8th grade // Senior pics]

Once I went to college, my normal routine dramatically shifted, and I started to gain weight. I went from all those years of playing a sport (soccer, intramural volleyball, track & field, or even taking dance classes) year round, to playing on a men's soccer team at my tiny Penn State branch campus that had no women's team. I lasted one semester at that campus before transferring to a campus a little closer to home and closer to Matt (my then boyfriend, now husband). I briefly looked into trying out for the women's soccer team there, but they had a really good reputation and I knew it would be a tough tryout, and I was intimidated. So I just stopped playing altogether.

Cue weight gain.

[Cruise in '08, Thanksgiving '09, Wedding in '10, Trip West in '12, Half Marathon in '14]

I've always considered myself a fairly healthy eater. I actually enjoy salads and generally eat a ton of fruit and vegetables. But I never in my life had to actually monitor what I was eating or how much I was eating, because I was always out-exercising my eating habits. Now I had basically stopped exercising, but continued to eat whatever I wanted. The number on the scale started to creep up and up.

This fall, it will be ten years since I went away to college. (Can I just take a moment and say how in the world has it been TEN YEARS?!) In the past decade, my weight has constantly fluctuated up and down. I go in cycles where I don't exercise at all and overeat, then join Weight Watchers and lose some of the weight, then start training for and run a half marathon and find myself in the best physical condition since I was high school, then gain all the weight back.

It's a constant battle for me.

But through it all, I maintained my stance that I couldn't just focus on a number on a scale and instead tried to focus on how my clothes fit, what I look like in the mirror, and how I felt.

Well, last summer, I started realizing I felt pretty damn bad. I was stressed and overwhelmed - we had picked up our life in Indiana and moved back to PA, and I was struggling with a deeply personal issue (more on that at a later date). I started to pack on some extra weight. Before I knew it, I was up almost 40 lbs, and was absolutely shocked when I finally stepped on the scale and saw that number.

I never in my life thought I would reach that weight. Not a great feeling.

I started to realize I didn't recognize the person I had become. Over the years I've perfected the way I position my body while looking at myself in the mirror or when posing for photos, but every once in a while I would catch a glimpse of myself in a candid photo, a dressing room mirror, or worse yet, a video taken by a friend or family member, and couldn't believe how far I had let myself go.

It was finally time to do something.

Two weeks ago, I decided I wanted to start running again. I've always liked running, and I'm fairly decent at it. I can go months without running at all, and then pick back up and go a few miles, no matter where I'm at physically. It's become my favorite form of exercise over the years, especially once I started training for a half marathon and running longer distances. I set a goal to run every day for ten days. My only rules were that I couldn't walk and that I had to do a minimum of two miles. It was tough at first, and I was painfully slow. But after a few days, I started to feel like my old self. The runs got easier, and my times improved. I went ten days and decided I would aim for two straight weeks of my daily runs. However, shin splints got the best of me. The night of my twelfth run, I lay in bed crying while Matt rubbed ice on my shins. It wasn't pretty. So I decided I needed a rest, so that's what I've been doing for the last three days. However, I'm proud of myself for making it twelve days, and know it's a step in the right direction. I needed something to get myself outside, shake off the winter blues, and start focusing on myself again.

[My twelve days of running.]

[Hahah... I need this shirt, stat.]

I recently read Shonda Rhimes' book, Year of Yes. It's a fantastic book, and in it she talks about her dramatic 100 lb + weight loss. One quote of hers that really hit me was this: "Spend your valuable years on this planet thinking about something other than your weight". I realized I have been focused on my weight and my body image for the majority of my life. How many hours had I wasted beating myself up over this? Countless. It was a freeing thought to think that I didn't have to waste anymore time on it. I can't totally let myself go and one day wake up at 700 lbs, but I needed a change in mindset. I know this whole issue with weight is something I'll have to work on for the rest of my life, but I think I'm finally at peace with it.

This is by no means going to become a blog about weight loss. I may write about my journey from time to time as a means of holding myself accountable and documenting my progress, but I'm so far from an expert that it's laughable. I just hope I can keep heading in the right direction, and by putting myself out there maybe open up the dialog and start a conversation about something that I (and so many other people) have struggled with for years. 

I think I'm finally ready for a change.

If you read this entire post, bless you. But even if you didn't, it feels good to finally get it out.

Love,

Steph

Current Faves

Here are a few of my current favorite things:

1.) Spring.

I love all the seasons. Each has it's own charm - the long days of summer, with vacations and trips to the beach and cookouts and outdoor concerts. The brisk days of fall, when the trees burst with color, it turns to sweatshirt & jean weather, and football begins. The cold days of winter, when we celebrate Christmas and the world gets coated with a beautiful blanket of snow. (Yes, I'm one of those people who absolutely loves snow.) But after a long winter, who doesn't love when the days start getting longer, the weather starts warming up, and flowers begin to bloom? It feels so good to just get outside and be able to enjoy the sunlight a little longer each night.

2.) These Modern Easter Eggs.

How amazing are these simple Easter eggs? Just using a white paint pen on brown eggs or a black sharpie on white eggs can really make a bold statement. Perfect if you need a last minute (and easy!) idea for Easter this weekend.

3.) Lukas Graham. So I'm assuming that at this point, everyone has heard the song, "7 Years"?! I still can't get over it, and if you haven't heard it, immediately check it out. Also loving his other songs, "Happy Home" & "Mama Said". I mean, those vocals, the lyrics... Amazing. We're going to see him live in NYC in May, the week of my birthday, and I can. not. wait.

4.) This Bedding.

I've been on the hunt for new bedding to spruce up our room. We currently have a beautiful quilt that Matt's grandmother made for us for our wedding - It's not totally my style, but I love it because I know how much work and care she put into making it for us. However, our dogs sleep with us, so I feel like I am constantly washing it, and some of the hand quilting is starting to show the wear and tear of all those washes. I've always loved the simplicity of white bed linens, and the picture above just speaks my love language. I'm thinking I'll go with this coverlet and go from there.

5.) Honey Vanilla Chamomile Tea.

Matt's cousin, Traci, got me hooked on this, and I just can't stop drinking it. I don't drink coffee, so I love starting off or ending my day with a cup of tea. Aside from my classic Earl Grey with a splash of vanilla creamer and a little sugar (try it and thank me later), this is my new favorite.

What are some things that you're currently loving?

Steph

Trip To Indiana

Last week, we took a trip out to Columbus, Indiana to visit family. My husband and I are both from Pennsylvania (I’m from Lancaster, and my husband’s from the Poconos, where we live now), but before moving to our current house, we lived out in Indiana for two years. My husband’s degree is in Elementary Education, and after several years of not being able to find a full time teaching job down in Lancaster, where we were living at the time, we decided to take a leap and move out to Indiana, where he was offered a third grade teaching job at a great school. 

We had talked about moving out of state or to a different part of a country for a couple years leading up to that move. We both love Lancaster, and knew we wanted to end up there to raise our family, but thought we should get away and experience another area before doing that. We toyed around with the ideas of Oregon (ultimately too far away), Colorado (also too far, and not close enough to an ocean for me), New Hampshire, North Carolina, and others. 

Never in my life did I think we’d end up living in the midwest.

But that’s where we found ourselves, and we fell in love with it. Matt’s cousin, her husband, and their three kids live in Columbus, and are the reason we moved to that town. We absolutely loved living closer to them, seeing the kids grow up and spending a ton of time with them, and the hardest part about moving back to PA was definitely leaving them. But there were other things we loved about the town, too - we both had wonderful jobs and loved our coworkers, we found a great church and a became a part of a supportive small group, we joined various intramural sports leagues and made friends there, and the little town itself was great. We were close to Indianapolis and Louisville, KY, and had the opportunities to explore a whole new part of the country. It was great.

Last spring, when Matt applied for his current job, back in PA, it was an unexpected opportunity that we never dreamed he’d actually be able to do. We both grew up going to camp here, it’s where we met back in high school, and we both spent three (me) to four (him) summers during college on summer staff. This place holds a big part of our hearts. Matt’s always fantasized about working here full time, and now it looked like he actually would have the opportunity. It didn’t take a whole lot of debating - we were in. As much as we loved our home and our community in Indiana, we missed our friends and family from back in Pennsylvania. We made the nine hour drive back to Lancaster many times in the two years we lived there, and it was getting a little old. So we jumped at the opportunity, and in June of 2015, we sold our house, packed everything up, and headed back east after some tearful goodbyes.

This past week was the first time we were able to go back to Indiana together to visit (I actually flew in last August for a few days after we had taken a trip down south, but Matt had been unable to get the additional days off work). It was so nice to exit the interstate and drive the familiar roads back to Columbus. We stayed with family, visited co-workers, caught up with friends, went to our old church, took a walk around downtown, drove through our old neighborhood, and of course stalked our old home.

Side note: Aside from leaving Matt’s family, I’d say leaving this house was the hardest part about leaving Columbus. Is that weird? I loved this house. LOVED it. If I could have picked it up and moved it with us back to PA, I would have. Perfect layout, nicely updated to our tastes, cute little yard. It was just perfect.

Life may not have worked out how I planned. I’ll probably never get the chance to live in Oregon or New Hampshire, but that’s okay. I never in my life thought I’d call Indiana home, but for two brief years, we did. And it was a great experience. We will be forever grateful for the connections and the friendships we made there, and we’re so grateful to still have family in the area to give us an excuse to get back out there and visit. 

Until next time, Indiana.

Love,

Steph

Cleaning Schedule

I’m admittedly a bit of a clean freak.

Maybe that’s an understatement - I’m a total clean freak. In addition to being totally neurotic about organization (see my last post), cleanliness is a big thing for me. If our home is out of order or unclean, it drives me a little nuts. Like all of a sudden mopping my kitchen floors at midnight because I just can’t sleep until it’s done nuts. 

It’s a little exhausting.

But it’s my reality. So instead of continually driving myself crazy over it, I went on a mission to find some tips to make keeping a clean house a little more manageable.

While researching various cleaning/organizational “tips”, “tricks” or “programs”, I came across various schools of thought. The first one I tried back when we were newlyweds living in our first house stated you should clean one room or one type of room each night. For example, Monday you’d clean the living room, Tuesday you’d clean the bathrooms, Wednesday you’d clean the master bedroom, etc. I tried this for a while, but eventually it started to drive me insane because you’d have to get all the cleaning products every single day. Too much of a hassle. So I transitioned to another idea I read that said you should do one type of cleaning each night. For example, clean all wood on Monday, do all vacuuming on Tuesday, etc. Ding ding ding, we have a winner. Instead of getting all of my cleaning supplies out every single night, I just grab the one thing I need for that day, and take 15-20 minutes to go around the house and complete the task. This method works for our household, and it’s what we try to stick to. Obviously, it’s not always perfect. If we have commitments in the evenings, there are nights when nothing gets done. Or if we’re having company, we may have to jump ahead of the schedule and do extra before our guests come. Some weeks nothing gets done, and that’s okay. We’ve found that we can definitely just do our full cleaning routine every other week and still maintain a clean home.

So here’s the schedule that we’ve adopted. By posting this, I hope that I can inspire at least one person to include maybe one or two of these ideas into their daily or weekly routine. Life is busy, our calendars are full, and things get missed. That’s okay, but don’t you think you deserve for your home to be a retreat for you to come home to at the end of a long day? Our homes are our biggest investments and where we spend so much of our time, so they should bring us happiness, not stress. I promise that one or two simple changes will make a big difference.

Here’s our cleaning schedule:

In addition to the cleaning “task” of the day, there are a handful of normal daily routines that I complete just to keep everything looking good on a day-to-day basis and help keep our life a little more manageable. Here there are:

I promise that if you at least adopt at least one or two of these daily tasks into your everyday routine, you'll notice a big difference in your home. 

Do you have a specific cleaning routine or method of staying on top of housework? I’d love to hear it!

Happy cleaning!

Steph